I don’t know about you, but I am SO happy that 2015 is OVER!!!
2015 definitely had it’s perks, but all in all it was a pretty tough year for me. Most of it was filled with job searches and interviews, which is not only exhausting, but also incredibly soul-sucking. In addition to 6 months of exhaustion and no soul, I wasn’t able to give as much attention to the blog as I wanted to.
On top of that, when I DID post on the blog in 2015, I had to be very careful about what I posted…
I couldn’t have a job searcher google me, find DTH, and then have the first thing they see on the blog is me in short shorts or showing cleavage, or better yet, post anything questionable like politics or rants on sexism that could make me look like a loose canon.
I mean, having a blog called DO THE HOTPANTS is difficult enough when trying to get a job in corporate America. Sometimes I wish I had just called the blog “Hello I am Dana and this is my non threatening generic fashion blog…and occasionally I eat food.”
Hahaha, could you imagine???
So because of all that, 2015 was pretty tame for me as far as my creativity and expression on here.
BUT GUESS WHAT…..
I’M BACK BABY!
And no I don’t mean I’m gonna get crazy or do anything stupid, but just having that weight lifted off me where the blog can be something positive in my life again, feels fantastic!
And I’m rolling into the new year feeling pretty awesome.
For starters, I LOVE my job now and am super excited for 2016.
I’ve also spent the last few weeks mapping out the new direction I want to take DTH, and really trying to figure out where I am on my OWN self-love journey. Can I still continue to help others through my own personal story? And is my story still relevant to people?
Over the years, I have done a LOT of self love work, and am finally starting to feel good about my body. Of course I have my down days, but my downs are not as down as they used to be. I don’t force myself to workout anymore if I don’t feel like it. I don’t feel guilty after eating a whole candy bar anymore.
So I’m going into 2016 feeling extremely proud of myself and all the work I’ve done these last few years.
It wasn’t easy to get here, but it was worth every step.
I’m going into 2016 with a much more realistic view of my body.
I might even be….*gasp*…..thin.
I know. Just one year ago I would never have used that adjective to describe myself. I would have used the word “curvy,” but not thin. I definitely didn’t see myself as thin when I looked in the mirror. And I think that is problematic for women who actually are curvy or fat; women who actually struggle to find clothing that fits them when they go to a store. While this may not be my reality, the reflection I saw in the mirror for years told me a different story.
BUT…I’ve never gone to a store where they don’t have my size, or had to walk to a different section where the larger clothes are.
So yes, while I do think that I have curves on my body, I’m coming to terms with my own reality.
So I just want to put this out there for 2016.
I’m sorry to anyone who’s ever read a post on DTH and felt WORSE about their body. That was never the point of this blog.
And I’m also sorry if I ever took away power from the words curvy or fat. That was never my intention, and I can totally understand someone bigger than me feeling upset that I do not know their struggle but I steal their words.
My DTH New Years Resolution for 2016 is to be more inclusive. I am coming to terms with my thin, white, young privilege, and I promise to use that privilege for good this year!
I’m still working on myself every day, but I’m proud to say that I’m much gentler and loving towards my body than I was 365 days ago.
So here’s to 2016!
Here’s to trying as hard as you can to love your body every day.
And here’s to coming to terms with a more realistic view of your body this year.
Curvy? Fat? Thin? Flat?
You’re still amazing. You’re still beautiful. And you’re still a fucking incredible human being in my book.
Photography : Spree Wilson