To say we have it tough in this world is an understatement.
No matter what, we’re too:
• flat chested
• big chested
• light skinned
• dark skinned
Anything else I left out?
Left handed / Right handed?
But seriously, the list of attributes a woman is told she needs to have to be beautiful has gotten so ridiculously long, I can’t even keep track anymore.
I think Tina Fey said it best:
Goddamnit I love her.
So when I found out about Cassey Ho, the Pilates trainer and social media celeb, I knew I had to share her video with you all.
(thank you to all my friends and fans who tagged me in this on social media!!!)
In her text below the youtube video, Cassie asks:
“What if you could stop all the hate and just photoshop yourself right now, in real life? What would you change?”
This really hit home for me. Right now, I would change so many things. But then again, I DID do that on the blog and I just felt like I was lying. Sure I could straighten out my nose or remove my acne, but that wasn’t who I really am.
All photoshopping myself actually did was
a) make me scared to meet people in real life for fear I was going to disappoint them
b) hate myself even more for not looking like the perfect photoshopped me
Which is why I came clean, and now I’m trying to be accepting of this body, both on the good days…AND the bad ones.
Another interesting part of Cassey’s story that I can REALLY relate to, is the Cyber Bullying part.
Cassey posted a photoshopped “perfect” photo of herself on her Facebook where she changed all “imperfections” people had pointed out on her previously.
And here is a screenshot of some of the comments.
Cassey says this about the photo:
“There was a weird phenomenon that happened when I posted this photoshopped picture. On the very same photo, I got some people praising me and others degrading me.
What worries me is this: 1. That some people think this is real and that it should be “goals.” 2. That some people still think it’s not good enough.
It’s tough knowing what’s real and what’s not when magazine covers and music videos are photoshopped (yes, music videos), Instagram pics are photoshopped, and so many women are getting surgery. How are we to know what kind of beauty can be naturally achieved when everything around us is so deceiving?”
And this is why I can relate:
Cyber bulling, fat shaming, making fun of someone…
Whatever you call it…
But guess what haters…
I’M STILL ALIVE!
Keep fighting the good fight my loves.
Every day our bodies are a battleground.
But just remember what Maya Angelou said:
Thanks lady! As the mama of TWO girls and a lovely, conflicted, smart, feminist myself, I wrestle with this daily. How do I convey my self-love and be AUTHENTIC? I’m currently wearing no makeup- out of the house- nbd when you’re 20 and have perfect skin. Big deal when you’re mid thirties and have issues. Like… I want to be taken seriously, I want to have a look (I love eyeliner), I’d like to look perfect. But I’ve relented. I don’t want my small ladies to always see me putting something on to go out. Thanks for giving this space and voice- thanks for asking questions, not just telling. You’re doing us a service!! Xoxo Laurel
Thank you for this post~
I literally made a facebook status last night about how a lot of men enjoy telling women what to do or that if they do something for themselves guys won’t like them. In the comments people burst out in debate and a wonderfully close friend of mine who tried to defend me and other women was body shamed and two guys attacked her for her comments. Some dudes just don’t know how to listen… I will definitely be sharing this on my page today <3
As a son, a dad, a brother, a grandfather, an uncle and a guy….this is spot on. Get more of this mainstream!
I really like your blog and especially posts like this. I don’t usually comment on blogs but I just had to as all those mean comments to your beautiful picture got to me. It is so insanely frustrating that there are so many out there feeling it’s okay to be so ridiculously vicious and judgemental and making the world a sucky place. I know you probably get a lot of compliments but with all those negative you had to endure I feel I should give you one more. From where I stand you are incredibly beautiful – also up close -, exotic, alluring, funny, reflective and intelligent. The world would be a nicer place with more of you in it. Please keep up your very inspirational quest. Lots of love and encouraging thoughts, Anne Sofie