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OMG

Redbook just posted their BEST LIST EVAAAARRRRR…

25 Lazy Ways To Stay Skinny

But since most of you are too lazy to even read it, I’ve done the calorie-free legwork for you.

I present to you : Redbook’s foolproof ways to get that bikini body…just in time for winter.

1. Eat Cheesecake.

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2. Don’t look at your food.

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3. Cut a hole in the back of your fridge so it stops working.

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4. Make fun of your lactose intolerant friends.

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5. Wake up in the middle of the night and stare angrily at your food.

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6. Tell your pasta a funny story.

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7. Try a roofie.

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8. Eat enough food for 3 people.

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9. Take photos in front of the sun so your arms look skinny.

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10. Binge, but wear lipstick.

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11. Binge while cross-eyed.

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12. Order Harry & David home delivery so you don’t embarrass yourself at the grocery store.

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13. Tell God a funny story.

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14. Camouflage yourself. No one can see you drink orange juice if you’re wearing orange.

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15. Pile beautiful vegetables on top of your cookies.

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16. Eat half a loaf of bread.

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17. See how high you can pour your milk.

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18. Check your mani at the gym.

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19. Eat your hand.

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20. Cry during your midnight snack.

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21. Eat more hand.

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22. Find a binge buddy.

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23. Stare at popcorn.

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24. Eat 2 hamburgers AND an apple.

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And last but not least…

#25

Do lines of Sweet’n Low.

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I hear that’s what Kate Moss did…

LATER DUDES XX-DANA

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